In the middle of working on book release stuff today, I was overwhelmed by the need to write a missing scene for a particular bit of canon in B5 5x16 (And All My Dreams Torn Asunder) that the show cruelly decided not to show us.

I've read another really lovely take on this piece of missing canon, softer and more bantery than my own: Unsundered by TerokNope, highly recommended!

Meanwhile I took a swim in the angst pool.

even if the world stops spinning (gen, 2000 wds)
Missing scene for 5x16. A meeting on the docks as Londo leaves Babylon 5.
Also on AO3.



The line of waiting passengers, moving toward the boarding gates for the scheduled shuttle to Centauri Prime, jostled Londo and made him mutter threats and insults under his breath.

Humiliating. Infuriating. He went to try to prevent war, but he had to remind himself of the reasons why, now and then.

Vir would still be here on the station, he reminded himself. He had one ally left, at least.

He had never guessed that if he were to leave Babylon 5 for good, it would be under such circumstances. Even at the worst of the Narn-Centauri war, even with everyone on the station looking at him with suspicion and turning away from his friendly overtures, it had not come down to this.

If you leave, you may not be allowed to return.

Well, what of it? he thought, feeling once again the upswell of smoldering, furious pride that he was unwilling to admit contained a depth of hurt that made the back of his throat burn and closed a fist around his hearts that felt almost as if he was having a second heart attack. So what if the station did not want him back, so what if every person he once thought was his friend here -- people he cared for, people he trusted -- had turned against him?

Curse them all. And curse his own people, too, for putting him in this position.

He had never felt so utterly, wretchedly alone in his life.

What was the point of trying to do the right thing -- the moral thing, the correct thing -- if in the end, it all led to this?

"Excuse me -- I'm late -- just looking for my traveling companion -- pardon me --"

Some rude and ill-mannered person was trying to cut in line, but Londo, sunk in his own furious misery, barely noticed until the rude person jostled right up against him. He turned around, fully prepared to unleash some of his current anger on the nearest available target, but it died when he found himself bumping into familiar leather armor.

"Oh good, I found you, and you haven't even boarded yet," G'Kar said cheerfully.

They were nearly to the security agent checking identicards. "Come to see me off?" Londo asked between his bared teeth. He did not want to admit, in his present frame of mind, that that alone -- the indication that there was one person among those he'd considered his closest friends who cared to say goodbye -- made some part of his hurt and rage die down a little.

"Come to travel with you." G'Kar produced an identicard -- they were almost to the front of the line now -- and his flippant attitude turned more serious. "I have secured the seat beside yours."

Now Londo was too baffled to be angry. "You -- we -- this flight is going to Centauri Prime, you know that, yes?"

"No, Mollari, I am intending to board the flight for the Pak'ma'ra homeworld, my preferred vacation spot."

"You are going to Centauri Prime?"

"And not a moment too soon, as I see you are having some trouble grasping current events."

"It is not my grasp on events, you ... interfering Narn, it's my comprehension of --" He broke off, realizing that this could just be used as ammunition against him in the same way, especially since G'Kar -- damn him -- was smirking. "What I mean is, why? Why are you here?"

"There are factions on Centauri Prime that want you --"

"Factions!" Londo spat back. "Don't you presume to tell me about Centauri politics!" He swallowed thickly, the betrayal flooding back, bitter as bile. "So that's it. They sent you with me, hmm? Keep an eye on me, report back? Don't even trust me to take the case to my own government without needing a watchdog?"

Rather than taking the bait, G'Kar was studying him with no anger at all, just a strange sort of sympathy that made Londo want to throttle him.

"Mollari ... do you think every friend that you have on this station suddenly decided to turn on you for no reason?"

"No, I do not think that." Londo lowered his voice, aware that -- although they were surrounded by Centauri for the most part -- they were also still on Babylon 5, where the situation between his people and the other races on the station was a powder keg. Hissing between his teeth, he went on in a furious undertone. "I know what they did and I know why they did it and I even understand it, it -- it makes logical sense, the evidence all points to Centauri Prime and not a single person here trusts me or believes I'm not involved, they've been conspiring behind my back for months because of that, and I get it, I do, I'm sure I'd have done the same in their position --"

"Identicards, please?" said the security guard with a studiously patient demeanor that suggested it wasn't the first time he'd asked. They had stopped in front of the gate to argue.

"Shut up!" Londo and G'Kar snapped at him in unison.

"Mollari," G'Kar went on before Londo could get a word in. "If you are going to be angry at someone, be angry at me. Keeping you out of the investigation was my idea."

"What?" Londo spat, confused indignation flaring up into towering fury.

"Identicards, please," the security guard repeated in a tone that suggested "no" was no longer going to be an acceptable answer.

"Shut up -- here --" Londo fumbled with his card, his hands shaking so that he could barely pull it out. He was too angry to resist when G'Kar plucked it out of his hand and casually handed over both cards. "How could you -- what did you -- what can you possibly say to defend yourself?"

"I was afraid you were going to die." G'Kar reclaimed both the cards. "Here is yours."

Londo took it back with fingers that still trembled. He had no idea what he was feeling now. "You thought what?"

"Come on, we're blocking the gate."

The guard was glaring at them, one hand on his link. G'Kar put a hand on Londo's shoulder and, with curious gentleness, steered him into the short tunnel leading to the docking bay.

"I am not going to defend the positions of the other members of the Council to you," G'Kar said quietly as they rejoined the flow of passengers. "Their choices are their own. Perhaps this was not the right way to handle it. But it is your life we're talking about. You and I both know there are enemies gunning for you on Centauri Prime. If I had chosen wrong, if we had chosen wrong, there would have been no take-backs, no second chances. We were worried about you, Londo, and we were afraid if you tried to investigate on your own, you would be killed."

"So you lied to me," Londo muttered. He had liked the anger better; it was easier to deal with than this strange mix of rage, guilt, hurt, and something like relief. "Kept me in the dark. Conspired against me."

"Collected information," G'Kar said softly. Another touch on his arm steered him gently toward the open shuttle passenger door; he had been starting to veer astray. "Tried to find out who was behind it. Considered every possibility. Hoped against hope that the initial information we had was wrong, that the Centauri were not to blame."

"That I was not to blame," Londo said under his breath.

"No. We knew that all along. Never for an instant did we think you were involved. Once again, I cannot speak for all of the others, but Delenn and I talked about it before I came here, and she is as convinced of your innocence as I am."

Londo couldn't speak for a minute. It was G'Kar's hand, now planted in the middle of his back, that kept him moving. Vaguely he recognized that they were on the shuttle now. "You have an odd way of showing it," he said at last.

"You have spent your whole life in politics. You know that procedures must be followed, every -- what do the humans say -- every T dotted and I crossed. If we show favor to a core member of the Alliance, known to be a personal friend of the President and his wife, how soon before the entire Alliance fractures? Never must it be said that information was being passed from the Council to the Centauri, or that they were being given inside opportunities to craft their response."

"I know," Londo sighed. Now that hurt and rage no longer had him in its grip, he did understand. "I said that I would have done the same, and I -- I meant it, if it had been Delenn up there, or you. For the sake of the Alliance, and the peace, however long it lasts. It is also ... possible ... that I might have been slightly intemperate in the meeting myself." He glanced sideways at G'Kar. "You were worried for my life?"

"I still am. We still are. Why do you think I am going with you?" He gently nudged Londo down the aisle, because Londo had stopped again. "I am not going to spy."

"I know you're not." Londo said it half under his breath. "G'Kar --"

"Oh, here are our seats. This one is mine."

"I see that you got yourself the aisle seat," Londo said with a hint of feeble scorn, struggling for normalcy. "Just to make my life needlessly unpleasant."

"No, I got the last unclaimed seat in your row. You bought yourself the window seat."

"Blame Vir for that, but I didn't care. I don't, you know, not that much." Londo edged in and dropped into the seat, echoed by his reflection in the dark window. "I just -- it was the first shuttle leaving, I did not even pay attention to what seat it was, I told him to get me on it and nothing else mattered." As G'Kar settled beside him, Londo turned to look at him, feeling as if he could finally really look -- not trying to dodge G'Kar's gaze, not too hurt to even want to see his face. "G'Kar, you know if you go with me, and war breaks out, you may not be able to come back. Neither of us might. And you will be stranded on a planet at war with your own people."

"I know," G'Kar said simply. "And if I do not go, you might die. So the choice was very easy. Oh, there is the attendant with the menus, let me flag her down."

Londo turned his face away. To his humiliation, sudden tears flooded his eyes. He stared out the window, through which little could be seen except a strut of the docking structure and his own blurring reflection. He blinked rapidly.

G'Kar's shoulder settled lightly against his, pressing, just being there.

Londo swallowed, blinked, got himself under control. "So," he said, and he leaned back against G'Kar's shoulder a little. "You are probably going to talk to me for the entire flight, so that I must arrive to see the Regent sleep-deprived and annoyed and nauseous."

"Of course I am," G'Kar said brightly.

"It is not too late to send you back, is it?"

As if to punctuate his words, the shuttle door slammed, followed an instant later by the echoing thunks of docking grapples letting go.

"Oh, it is very much too late," G'Kar said. His tone was still playful, and he pressed a menu into Londo's hand. But there was something very serious underneath. "You are stuck with me, I'm afraid. Have a drink?"

"I suppose I must, to cope with this flight," Londo murmured, and he made himself study the menu while he leaned into the solid warmth of G'Kar's shoulder (getting poked slightly by epaulets, but he didn't care). His throat had stopped hurting, and his hearts had stopped feeling like they were being squeezed in a vise, and he thought maybe, just maybe, things were more okay than he'd thought.